Some Thoughts of Mummy

So happy that Baby Leiya is staying with Mummy and Daddy for these few weeks ... as grandparents' house is under renovation.

Mummy made an effort to spend almost all the time she can with her - went straight back after school everyday, din plan anything in the noons or the weekends..

Mummy somehow still feels that she did not give enough for Baby Leiya. Maybe cos of no 2 in her, she feels that she did not do all she can to her. She is not able to carry and hug Leiya as much as she wants. She cannot sit on the floor and play with Leiya on the Hello Kitty playmat. She has difficulty playing and bathing Leiya on the weekends as her movements are clumsy and slow. She cannot bring Leiya out on her own whenever Leiya wants to. She feels that she owes Leiya in these ways but she cannot do much except to maximise time with her. Also at the same time, she feels that she has neglected no 2 too. She hasn't been eating as nutritiously as what she did when she had Leiya. She hasn't been paying attention to the movements in her as much as she used to. She din apply the soothing hot oil on her stomach as she did for Leiya previously. She din even keep track of the actual number of weeks she is in through the pregnancy. She also hasn't really think of a name for him yet.

Sometimes Mummy feels that she has failed in both aspects. Sigh.